Feminism, Webcam Modeling and Fight Club

Webcam models get a lot of crap about morality and virtue from their non-webcam peers. They also get a lot of crap from their viewers about the right way to look and please. We are treading through a mess of sewage sludge, trying to foster the slightest bit of decency in our lives. Honestly though, I don't feel worried for myself at all.

Most of us at MFC would agree that the ladies with the highest cam scores are fake and bitchy. To quote an anonymous guest on the site, "they treat a 500 token tip as a joke. They make so much money and they don't even appreciate it." For those of you who don't use MFC, 500 tokens is equivalent to $25 for the model. Most cam girls at MFC are happy to receive a 500 token tip, but it doesn't work that way when you have climbed up the ladder of fakeness. The top models want the riches and accept the fact that reality doesn't make as much money in this business. What does the viewer want to see? Well that's what they will get. You want me to use the bigger dildo that makes me sore? Fine.

One thing that puzzles me, however, is that there are so many individuals who want to see me enjoy myself in a private show. They ask me to do whatever I want. This is a bit of a contradiction to me sometimes. As much as I love masturbating, sometimes I'm not in the mood. At these times I'm satisfied with making some money to do what the viewer wants me to do. If I'm going to be used, at least I'm getting paid for it. I realize that at these times my thinking is fucked up. I should appreciate the guys who want to see me enjoy myself. I shouldn't be mad at them for not being the typical sex hungry customer. It's just that I feel like they pity me when they're paying me and they don't even have their own desires of me.

On the other hand, there's one stupid guy who recently came to my chatroom to be a disturbance and a total cliche of what you would expect from a customer. Everything he said was what a typical guy would say in a Hollywood comedy. "Where's your boyfriend, out banging other girls? I'd bang you but I don't want you to get attached. I'm a fuck and go kinda guy." I grew up in a very wholesome town, where guys never talk like this because they don't watch the crap on tv that most of America watches. Then I moved to Orange County where everyone falls for that stupid shit. You know what I'm talking about. MTV's Real World, Keeping up with the Kardashians. It all made me think back to the movie Fight Club, the one film that shuts down all the falseness of American culture. "You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake, you are the same organic decaying matter as everything else." It is a film about cynical men who are trying to find themselves in the midst of being tortured by their stagnant, boring cubicle jobs and false goals. Their answer is to start a fight club where they can finally feel like real men.

I did some research on the movie and found that not only does it speak against our consumerist culture, but it also gives feminists something to think about. Let me quote Jennifer Kesler from TheHathorLegacy.com :

"Advertising does a lot worse than keep us chasing crap we don’t need so that we’re too busy to actually achieve anything that might overturn the powermongers at the top of the food chain. It has been pandering to the weakest instincts in young men and boys for a couple of generations now. 18-25 year old white boys don’t want to see strong women? Solution: don’t put a strong woman in your movie! For heaven’s sake, don’t show them that a woman can be strong and traditionally 'feminine'."

This speaks to me because I've been dealing with that same guy who comes into my chatroom and seems to believe that women are truly weak. Somehow it turns him on to talk to a woman as if she is just a good fuck. He thinks the woman will chase after him, and he is completely wrong. When I talked to him it was very evident that he was the weak one. Why was he in my room? He wanted to pay me to show him my pussy. Clearly he is not getting any back at home, and he wants to act as if that is his own choice. Maybe he's not confident in himself, so he never goes for the women he wants. So he backs up his ego by telling himself he would rather pay for sex with no strings attached, so that a woman does not grow attached to him. He creates his story to make it seem that I am the weak one for making the profit. The truth is we all need sex, and we all need intimacy.

I am happy to give company to people who are missing it from their lives for whatever reason. Throw away all the fake crap surrounding it, and essentially it's about loneliness and a natural need for release. I'm not going to do everything a guy wants me to do but if what I have to offer is pleasing to someone, there is nothing wrong with giving that to them.